A Fearsome Critter To Behold: The Teakettler
The Teakettler is a Fearsome Critter that made its home in Minnesota and Wisconsin. Lumberjacks described the critter as looking like a small, stubby legged dog that had the ears of a cat. It always chose to walk backwards and steam poured out from its mouth. It is because of the steam that the only sound the critter could make was like that of a boiling teakettle, and that is also how the critter got its name.
The Teakettler is known for being extremely shy and elusive, only a few lumberjacks were ever able to see one. But they always knew a Teakettler was nearby if they heard the sound of a boiling kettle coming from within the woods while they were busy working.
“In early lumberjack folklore, fearsome critters were mythical beasts that were said to inhabit the frontier wilderness of North America. The critters were a part of lumberjack stories told during downtime and were often used to welcome and haze newcomers to the camp. Lumberjacks who would go from camp to camp would bring their entertaining stories with them and they would slowly spread as tall tales across America.”
- The Pine Barrens Institute
*Image Credit: http://www.brianrwilliams.com/drawings.html#fearsomecritters
While a majority of these critters were simply created as a way to frighten or haze newcomers to the camp, some were created with the sole intention of just confusing everyone who heard about them. One may ask why such creatures would be created if they served no purpose and didn’t help to explain any common camp occurrences? Well to that we would respond as such, lumberjacks of days long past were a unique bunch. Simple as that.
It goes without saying that many people fear what they can’t see. A murky lake that gives no signs as to what swims beneath its surface can be terrifying to those within it, an ominous cave which hides its occupant within the far back under the cover of darkness can make one who approaches it turn and run in fear, and a dense forest at night can make a lone camper feel like a scared child when the sounds of its hidden residents echo out from all around. The unseen is a major fear maker.
By all accounts, the Gazunk appears to be a completely normal bird. About the size of a crow and covered in black and white feathers, the critter makes its home in nearly every forest of North America. Completely nocturnal, the Gazunk sleeps within hollowed out trees during the day and only emerges well after the sun has gone down. And it is while the critter is awake that one truly realizes why it’s anything but normal. You see, as soon as the Gazunk wakes up, it immediately starts singing, and its song sounds exactly like a flute being played in the middle of the woods. How does it make this sound you ask? Simple, the holes in its long bill.
Nearly identical to a fox in every way, except for the tail which resembled that of a fish tail, the Fish-Fox was able to manipulate all types of fish into following it. After being fully trained, the critter could be given a command to bring back supper for the camp.
The fearsome critter known as The Boat Hound is not your typical beast of the woods, as this particular specimen prefers to live alongside bodies of water rather than inside the dense trees. The creature is often described as having a long body that is crudely shaped like a boat, huge frog-like feet, four ears, a large mouth like an alligator, and a temperament like that of an angry grizzly.
Within the vast forests of Maine, there is said to be a critter that is unlike anything seen before. The fearsome creature is said to be responsible for countless number of fights within logging camps, and it is known to leave even the most seasoned of woodsman scratching his head at the mere sight of its tracks. The critter is thought to be some sort of a hybrid creature and is widely known as The Shagamaw.
The Treesqueak was described as a relatively small Critter that somewhat resembled a weasel or an opossum. It was completely covered in hair, possessed a long tail, long limbs, and had a reasonably friendly temperament, but would become aggressive if it went too long without mating. It also shared some of the abilities of a common chameleon. The Critter was able to completely wrap it’s arms, legs, and tail around a thick tree branch and blend into the bark so perfectly that it became almost invisible. This was how the Treesqueak spent most of its life, rarely seen on the ground and wrapped tightly around a branch.
The Agropelter (also known as The Widow Maker) was described as being an extremely vengeful critter that made its home in the northern forests of the United States. It was said to resemble a mix between an ape and a man, had an extremely thin and wiry body, and possessed two extremely long, extremely muscular arms.
The Whirling Whimpus was a large Fearsome Critter that had the pleasure of calling the Cumberland Mountains in Tennessee its home. The blood-thirsty critter is described as having a head much like that of a gorilla and the upper body to match. Both the hands and feet of the critter and oversized while the legs are quite thin and short. The description of this critter is quite reminiscent of modern day sasquatch descriptions.
In film and literature, lumberjacks are most often depicted as a constantly working, no nonsense group of men who have one main goal, to clear the forest of as much lumber as possible. But truth be told, this group of burly woodsmen could hold ranks with the best of them when it came to creating extremely unique and one of a kind creatures that most often exist exclusively within ones mind or are at times shared between a group around a campfire.